Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
