love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
