Non-Jews are for practice
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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