Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
