so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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