Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
