just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
