Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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