Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
