I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
