The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
