areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
