he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
