were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
