Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
