I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
They took my balls.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
