You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
