K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
