I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize