Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
