Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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