By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
