tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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