Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
