ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
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