do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I touched a dick in church today
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
