I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
