just come out here and I will go home with you...
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
