well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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