walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
