nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
