So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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