"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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