How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
