OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
it glows. i had to have it.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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