I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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