Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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