Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
