I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
