I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
