To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
