I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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