he puts the penis in happiness.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
