Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
