Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
