**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
