FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
