The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
