Already got asked if we're dating
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
