Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
